The Guy and The Brother. A birthday cake.
THE GUY
Happy birthday!
THE BROTHER
Happy birthday!
THE GUY
You’re old.
THE BROTHER
Not as old as you.
THE GUY
True. 31.
THE BROTHER
27.
THE GUY
And the years march on…
THE BROTHER
All over your fucking midsection.
THE GUY
God, ain’t that the truth.
THE BROTHER
Another year begins.
THE GUY
Yes it does.
THE BROTHER
I have a good feeling about this one.
THE GUY
Me, too. I like the way it started.
THE BROTHER
I’m sure you did. Manwhore.
THE GUY
Shut up.
THE BROTHER
Truth hurts.
THE GUY
You know, I’m glad we were born on the same day.
THE BROTHER
Really? Because at first…
THE GUY
Well, yeah, at first I hated your guts.
THE BROTHER
See…
THE GUY
But now… I’m glad this day is yours as well.
THE BROTHER
Me, too.
THE GUY
You know, the best thing about sharing my birthday with you is that I never feel like I’m in the world alone. A new year starts, and no matter where I am, and no matter where you are, we always start it together.
I like that.
THE BROTHER
Me, too.
THE GUY
So we should really blow these candles out.
THE BROTHER
How many are there?
THE GUY
Not the actual number we’d need for both of our birthdays.
THE BROTHER
We’d be a fire hazard.
THE GUY
I know.
THE BROTHER
31/27.
THE GUY
What are you gonna wish for?
THE BROTHER
I can’t tell you.
THE GUY
Stupid tradition.
THE BROTHER
Cynic.
THE GUY
Bitch.
THE BROTHER
I love you.
THE GUY
Love you, too.
They blow the candles out. And with them, so go the lights.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
5.19.2007: The Place You End and I Begin
The Guy and Nate. The lines happen as if one long uninterrupted sentence.
THE GUY
Something happens when two people…
NATE
… connect. You can’t really tell…
THE GUY
… where one begins…
NATE
…and the other ends…
THE GUY
… You just know that these people…
NATE
… for this moment that they’re together…
THE GUY
… are really just occupying the same space…
NATE
… and the distinctions…
THE GUY
…evaporate…
NATE
… and the boundaries…
THE GUY
… blur…
NATE
… and happiness…
THE GUY
… happiness…
NATE
… feels inevitable.
A breath.
The Guy whispers the following to Nate.
THE GUY
I knew from the second you came through my door hours before you were expected that I was going to have a terrific time with you. Because the second I saw you, I felt myself relax. I didn’t wanna impress you or ask you how you felt or discuss the current state of our relationship (because I tend to do that sometimes, with guys I like, I tend to cloud things over with too much noise instead of just letting it be) ---
I just wanted to walk over to you, kiss you, give you a hug, and enjoy you being next to me.
If you don’t mind, I kinda wanna keep that up.
Nate smiles. Nate grabs the Guy’s waist and pulls him close. The Guy leans against Nate.
For a second, it’s impossible to tell where one ends and the other begins.
THE GUY
Something happens when two people…
NATE
… connect. You can’t really tell…
THE GUY
… where one begins…
NATE
…and the other ends…
THE GUY
… You just know that these people…
NATE
… for this moment that they’re together…
THE GUY
… are really just occupying the same space…
NATE
… and the distinctions…
THE GUY
…evaporate…
NATE
… and the boundaries…
THE GUY
… blur…
NATE
… and happiness…
THE GUY
… happiness…
NATE
… feels inevitable.
A breath.
The Guy whispers the following to Nate.
THE GUY
I knew from the second you came through my door hours before you were expected that I was going to have a terrific time with you. Because the second I saw you, I felt myself relax. I didn’t wanna impress you or ask you how you felt or discuss the current state of our relationship (because I tend to do that sometimes, with guys I like, I tend to cloud things over with too much noise instead of just letting it be) ---
I just wanted to walk over to you, kiss you, give you a hug, and enjoy you being next to me.
If you don’t mind, I kinda wanna keep that up.
Nate smiles. Nate grabs the Guy’s waist and pulls him close. The Guy leans against Nate.
For a second, it’s impossible to tell where one ends and the other begins.
Friday, May 18, 2007
5.18.2007: Second Skin
The Guy and The One Before. Dinner at a restaurant. Beer, burgers.
They have not seen each other in about a month. They’ve talked on the phone, yes, but tonight is the first time they’ve actually been in the same place.
THE GUY
So Nate’s coming down to see me tomorrow.
THE ONE BEFORE
Cool.
THE GUY
Yeah, I think he’s staying until Monday. It’ll be good to see him.
THE ONE BEFORE
Rich called me.
THE GUY
Finally.
THE ONE BEFORE
I know. He said he was busy with work, so I’m not gonna be too mad he hadn’t been in touch.
THE GUY
What about that other one? Chris?
THE ONE BEFORE
Craig. No I talk to him every day. He works a lot though. Just like you. But I still wanna go out on a date with him.
THE GUY
Good for you. Go for it.
They continue like this as a stage direction unfolds. An unstageable one that notices something the untrained eye could not see.
As they talk, these two are shedding their skins. Slowly, in very small increments, pieces of their old skins are being peeled away, the skins that kept them together for six years.
These old skins are shed because they are no longer needed. There is no going back to the people they were. And as they talk, they notice for the first time that they are both now better off than they were before – happier.
THE GUY (cont.)
I missed you.
THE ONE BEFORE
I know. Me, too.
THE GUY
But you know… and I don’t want you to take this the wrong way or anything… but I’m not sad about it. Not like the first time. I miss you, you know, but I’m not sad anymore.
THE ONE BEFORE
I know what you mean.
We never really notice when we get our second skins. But one day, they’re there. And the thing we thought we’d never get over is suddenly… over.
THE GUY
Our waiter is cute.
THE ONE BEFORE
I know.
THE GUY
I dare you to leave him your number.
THE ONE BEFORE
I will.
THE GUY
No you won’t.
The One Before picks up the check and leaves his number on the bottom.
THE GUY
Oh my God. Who have you turned into?
THE ONE BEFORE
I have no idea.
They laugh.
Some skins are built to last forever. Most are built to be shed. And while they both believed their old skins would last forever, they are discovering that the ones beneath it are more beautiful than the ones before.
It is a reassuring lesson to learn.
The lights go down.
They have not seen each other in about a month. They’ve talked on the phone, yes, but tonight is the first time they’ve actually been in the same place.
THE GUY
So Nate’s coming down to see me tomorrow.
THE ONE BEFORE
Cool.
THE GUY
Yeah, I think he’s staying until Monday. It’ll be good to see him.
THE ONE BEFORE
Rich called me.
THE GUY
Finally.
THE ONE BEFORE
I know. He said he was busy with work, so I’m not gonna be too mad he hadn’t been in touch.
THE GUY
What about that other one? Chris?
THE ONE BEFORE
Craig. No I talk to him every day. He works a lot though. Just like you. But I still wanna go out on a date with him.
THE GUY
Good for you. Go for it.
They continue like this as a stage direction unfolds. An unstageable one that notices something the untrained eye could not see.
As they talk, these two are shedding their skins. Slowly, in very small increments, pieces of their old skins are being peeled away, the skins that kept them together for six years.
These old skins are shed because they are no longer needed. There is no going back to the people they were. And as they talk, they notice for the first time that they are both now better off than they were before – happier.
THE GUY (cont.)
I missed you.
THE ONE BEFORE
I know. Me, too.
THE GUY
But you know… and I don’t want you to take this the wrong way or anything… but I’m not sad about it. Not like the first time. I miss you, you know, but I’m not sad anymore.
THE ONE BEFORE
I know what you mean.
We never really notice when we get our second skins. But one day, they’re there. And the thing we thought we’d never get over is suddenly… over.
THE GUY
Our waiter is cute.
THE ONE BEFORE
I know.
THE GUY
I dare you to leave him your number.
THE ONE BEFORE
I will.
THE GUY
No you won’t.
The One Before picks up the check and leaves his number on the bottom.
THE GUY
Oh my God. Who have you turned into?
THE ONE BEFORE
I have no idea.
They laugh.
Some skins are built to last forever. Most are built to be shed. And while they both believed their old skins would last forever, they are discovering that the ones beneath it are more beautiful than the ones before.
It is a reassuring lesson to learn.
The lights go down.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
5.17.2007: Simple (How Much It Takes to Change a Day)
The Guy is here, his cell phone in hand.
He flips it open, and we watch him send a text message.
He closes his phone.
A moment or two passes.
His phone rings.
He checks who it is. He smiles. He raises a finger to the audience as if to say “Hold on a minute, ok?” and answers.
THE GUY
Hey, what’s up?
He walks off to take this call.
The phone call isn’t a promise. It portends nothing. It is merely a nice, simple little moment. But the day changes, enough to get mentioned in here.
He’s a good fella, Nate is. Glad he’s around.
The lights go down.
He flips it open, and we watch him send a text message.
He closes his phone.
A moment or two passes.
His phone rings.
He checks who it is. He smiles. He raises a finger to the audience as if to say “Hold on a minute, ok?” and answers.
THE GUY
Hey, what’s up?
He walks off to take this call.
The phone call isn’t a promise. It portends nothing. It is merely a nice, simple little moment. But the day changes, enough to get mentioned in here.
He’s a good fella, Nate is. Glad he’s around.
The lights go down.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
5.16.2007: Another Narcissus (People are Mysteries)
“There is an older version than the one related by Ovid in his Metamorphoses, in which the proud and unfeeling Narcissus is punished by the gods for having spurned all his male suitors. In this story, Ameinias, a young man, loved Narcissus but was scorned. To tell Ameinias off, Narcissus gave him a sword as a present. Ameinias used the sword to kill himself on Narcissus' doorstep and prayed to Nemesis that Narcissus would one day know the pain of unrequited love. This curse was fulfilled when Narcissus became entranced by his reflection in the pool and tried to seduce the beautiful boy, not realizing it was himself he was looking at.”
- Wikipedia entry
Narcissus, gazing at his reflection in a mirror. Ameinias watches at a distance.
Narcissus speaks to his reflection.
NARCISSUS
I love you.
AMEINIAS
You should have loved me.
NARCISSUS
Don’t be shy. You can say it back to me. I can see the love there in your eyes.
AMEINIAS
This is your punishment for not loving what you should.
NARCISSUS
I see so much of myself in you. Seriously, I look at you, and there’s this shock of recognition. We are perfect for each other.
AMEINIAS
Until you die you will only love the thing you can never have.
NARCISSUS
You’re so coy. I can see you looking at me, gazing at me with those eyes that beg for something more, and yet you always stay so far away from me. Always at a distance.
AMEINIAS
There’s no real satisfaction in watching you fall for yourself.
NARCISSUS
Just one kiss…
AMEINIAS
But it’s better than nothing.
NARCISSUS
I wonder what my hand would feel like on your cheek.
AMEINIAS
It’s hard to love something that doesn’t seem to love you back.
Like throwing yourself against a wall
hoping the wall might give against your weight
but discovering that the wall knows itself better than you do.
People are such mysteries.
What goes on inside them.
We need windows, not mirrors.
We need open windows on all sides of ourselves
so there is never a doubt
and never a question
and no love will be given without the knowledge it will be returned.
To Ameinias, for the first time, but not leaving his reflection.
NARCISSUS
I never said I didn’t love you.
This startles Ameinias.
AMEINIAS
Are you speaking to me?
NARCISSUS
Of course.
AMEINIAS
How much have you heard?
NARCISSUS
Everything. And I never said I didn’t love you.
AMEINIAS
But you never gave me any indication you did.
NARCISSUS
Yes, I did.
Just not the indications you wanted.
I think you wanted the rush of love,
the love from myths,
but love isn’t ever really like that.
Not the kind that survives anyway.
AMEINIAS
Oh.
NARCISSUS
Doesn’t matter anymore. I found someone who understands my kind of love.
At least I think I have.
Feels like the other half of me, you know?
That kind of connection…
Narcissus goes back to his reflection. Ameinias looks on.
AMEINIAS
And I love you again.
But you still don’t love me.
Love is a punishment from the Gods.
NARCISSUS
I love the way your mouth moves when you speak when you speak when you speak…
Narcissus watches the way his mouth moves as he says “when you speak” as the lights fade away.
- Wikipedia entry
Narcissus, gazing at his reflection in a mirror. Ameinias watches at a distance.
Narcissus speaks to his reflection.
NARCISSUS
I love you.
AMEINIAS
You should have loved me.
NARCISSUS
Don’t be shy. You can say it back to me. I can see the love there in your eyes.
AMEINIAS
This is your punishment for not loving what you should.
NARCISSUS
I see so much of myself in you. Seriously, I look at you, and there’s this shock of recognition. We are perfect for each other.
AMEINIAS
Until you die you will only love the thing you can never have.
NARCISSUS
You’re so coy. I can see you looking at me, gazing at me with those eyes that beg for something more, and yet you always stay so far away from me. Always at a distance.
AMEINIAS
There’s no real satisfaction in watching you fall for yourself.
NARCISSUS
Just one kiss…
AMEINIAS
But it’s better than nothing.
NARCISSUS
I wonder what my hand would feel like on your cheek.
AMEINIAS
It’s hard to love something that doesn’t seem to love you back.
Like throwing yourself against a wall
hoping the wall might give against your weight
but discovering that the wall knows itself better than you do.
People are such mysteries.
What goes on inside them.
We need windows, not mirrors.
We need open windows on all sides of ourselves
so there is never a doubt
and never a question
and no love will be given without the knowledge it will be returned.
To Ameinias, for the first time, but not leaving his reflection.
NARCISSUS
I never said I didn’t love you.
This startles Ameinias.
AMEINIAS
Are you speaking to me?
NARCISSUS
Of course.
AMEINIAS
How much have you heard?
NARCISSUS
Everything. And I never said I didn’t love you.
AMEINIAS
But you never gave me any indication you did.
NARCISSUS
Yes, I did.
Just not the indications you wanted.
I think you wanted the rush of love,
the love from myths,
but love isn’t ever really like that.
Not the kind that survives anyway.
AMEINIAS
Oh.
NARCISSUS
Doesn’t matter anymore. I found someone who understands my kind of love.
At least I think I have.
Feels like the other half of me, you know?
That kind of connection…
Narcissus goes back to his reflection. Ameinias looks on.
AMEINIAS
And I love you again.
But you still don’t love me.
Love is a punishment from the Gods.
NARCISSUS
I love the way your mouth moves when you speak when you speak when you speak…
Narcissus watches the way his mouth moves as he says “when you speak” as the lights fade away.
5.16.2007: A Kinda Gruesome Unstageable Moment (Early Morning)
A spotlight finds The Guy.
He’s angry at himself. He’s been carrying something around that has been driving him crazy. And in this second, he wants it out of him, wants it gone, wants it to disappear and never return.
So he reaches into his chest -- splitting the skin, cracking bone, ripping muscle, blood spraying everywhere – and pulls out his heart.
His beating human heart, which continues to pound in his hand once he’s pulled it out.
Since this is a play, he doesn’t die. It doesn’t even appear to hurt him. It’s only gruesome and violent (like a Tarentino flick).
The heart beats on, doing what it has seemed to do all the goddamned time for the last few months – want. That’s all it does – WANT. As if there’s nothing else in the world that matters, nothing in the world to be done other than wanting and being wanted in return.
You can see how needy it is when it pulses. It pulses like a heart that’s looking for attention.
But now that’s done. It’s out of him. For good. And although he’s made a bit of a mess and left quite a hole in his chest, The Guy is happy.
The heart throbs in his hands, completely undaunted.
It says, “I want, I want, Want me in return…”
The Guy admires its persistence.
The lights go down.
He’s angry at himself. He’s been carrying something around that has been driving him crazy. And in this second, he wants it out of him, wants it gone, wants it to disappear and never return.
So he reaches into his chest -- splitting the skin, cracking bone, ripping muscle, blood spraying everywhere – and pulls out his heart.
His beating human heart, which continues to pound in his hand once he’s pulled it out.
Since this is a play, he doesn’t die. It doesn’t even appear to hurt him. It’s only gruesome and violent (like a Tarentino flick).
The heart beats on, doing what it has seemed to do all the goddamned time for the last few months – want. That’s all it does – WANT. As if there’s nothing else in the world that matters, nothing in the world to be done other than wanting and being wanted in return.
You can see how needy it is when it pulses. It pulses like a heart that’s looking for attention.
But now that’s done. It’s out of him. For good. And although he’s made a bit of a mess and left quite a hole in his chest, The Guy is happy.
The heart throbs in his hands, completely undaunted.
It says, “I want, I want, Want me in return…”
The Guy admires its persistence.
The lights go down.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
5.15.2007: Undiscovered Country (The Narcissus Play)
“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started, and know the place for the first time.” - T.S. Eliot
Narcissus, the mythological figure who fell in love with his own reflection, sits on the stage floor, gazing at himself in a mirror. (Throughout the play, his gaze will never leave his reflection.)
The Guy appears.
THE GUY
What are you doing?
NARCISSUS
Exploring.
A silence.
THE GUY
You’re staring at yourself in a mirror.
NARCISSUS
You’re correct.
THE GUY
Narcissist.
NARCISSUS
Yes, actually. The original one. Narcissus. From which all other like me descend. Pleasure to meet you.
THE GUY
Same.
A silence again.
THE GUY (cont.)
What are you exploring?
NARCISSUS
The last great explorable terrain! The only distance over which great epic journeys can be made! The remaining undiscovered country! The SELF!
Myself, specifically. Not yourself. Because yourself is really of no interest to me.
THE GUY
Well, thanks.
NARCISSUS
Don’t be offended. It has nothing to do with you, really. I just find myself endlessly fascinating.
And if I were you, I’d be the last one to pass judgment on a narcissist. Look where I find myself. In this play of your making which is entirely about you.
THE GUY
This is an experiment in theatrical autobiography.
NARCISSUS
You can call it whatever you want, my friend, but a mirror is a mirror no matter what form it takes. (I love the way my mouth moves when I speak when I speak when I speak…)
For a second, Narcissus is absorbed in watching himself speak “when I speak” and enjoys it immensely. Then he stops and comes back to the moment.
NARCISSUS (cont.)
I’m sorry, what was I saying?
THE GUY
A mirror is a mirror…
NARCISSUS
Oh yes. Your play! The little mirror you hold up so you can gaze at yourself.
THE GUY
That’s not why I do this.
NARCISSUS
Uh huh.
THE GUY
It isn’t…
NARCISSUS
Look, buddy, come on, you don’t have to sell me on this. I’m not judging you. I’m with you all the way! Solidarity, brother!
The myths have it all wrong, you know.
This wasn’t a punishment.
That’s what they wrote, that I was being punished
by falling in love with my reflection.
But it wasn’t.
I looked at myself.
Really looked at myself
(because people don’t do that much anymore, don’t you find?,
really look at themselves,
turn their razor-sharp gaze inward to see what lies beneath)
and I fell in love.
And not the self-absorbed love,
not the preening, cloying, revolting kind
that turned my myth into an insult, into a degradation,
but the kind of love that’s grateful fascination.
We are endlessly miraculous creatures, aren’t we?
So I’m an explorer. Not a narcissist.
I am mapping a world that changes by the second.
Each day I will find something never known before
and I will look at this inhabited body and mind
with fresh eyes.
And every time, I see a New World.
Who couldn’t gaze at that forever?
Narcissus gazes at himself. The lights fade.
Narcissus, the mythological figure who fell in love with his own reflection, sits on the stage floor, gazing at himself in a mirror. (Throughout the play, his gaze will never leave his reflection.)
The Guy appears.
THE GUY
What are you doing?
NARCISSUS
Exploring.
A silence.
THE GUY
You’re staring at yourself in a mirror.
NARCISSUS
You’re correct.
THE GUY
Narcissist.
NARCISSUS
Yes, actually. The original one. Narcissus. From which all other like me descend. Pleasure to meet you.
THE GUY
Same.
A silence again.
THE GUY (cont.)
What are you exploring?
NARCISSUS
The last great explorable terrain! The only distance over which great epic journeys can be made! The remaining undiscovered country! The SELF!
Myself, specifically. Not yourself. Because yourself is really of no interest to me.
THE GUY
Well, thanks.
NARCISSUS
Don’t be offended. It has nothing to do with you, really. I just find myself endlessly fascinating.
And if I were you, I’d be the last one to pass judgment on a narcissist. Look where I find myself. In this play of your making which is entirely about you.
THE GUY
This is an experiment in theatrical autobiography.
NARCISSUS
You can call it whatever you want, my friend, but a mirror is a mirror no matter what form it takes. (I love the way my mouth moves when I speak when I speak when I speak…)
For a second, Narcissus is absorbed in watching himself speak “when I speak” and enjoys it immensely. Then he stops and comes back to the moment.
NARCISSUS (cont.)
I’m sorry, what was I saying?
THE GUY
A mirror is a mirror…
NARCISSUS
Oh yes. Your play! The little mirror you hold up so you can gaze at yourself.
THE GUY
That’s not why I do this.
NARCISSUS
Uh huh.
THE GUY
It isn’t…
NARCISSUS
Look, buddy, come on, you don’t have to sell me on this. I’m not judging you. I’m with you all the way! Solidarity, brother!
The myths have it all wrong, you know.
This wasn’t a punishment.
That’s what they wrote, that I was being punished
by falling in love with my reflection.
But it wasn’t.
I looked at myself.
Really looked at myself
(because people don’t do that much anymore, don’t you find?,
really look at themselves,
turn their razor-sharp gaze inward to see what lies beneath)
and I fell in love.
And not the self-absorbed love,
not the preening, cloying, revolting kind
that turned my myth into an insult, into a degradation,
but the kind of love that’s grateful fascination.
We are endlessly miraculous creatures, aren’t we?
So I’m an explorer. Not a narcissist.
I am mapping a world that changes by the second.
Each day I will find something never known before
and I will look at this inhabited body and mind
with fresh eyes.
And every time, I see a New World.
Who couldn’t gaze at that forever?
Narcissus gazes at himself. The lights fade.
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