5.16.2007: Another Narcissus (People are Mysteries)

“There is an older version than the one related by Ovid in his Metamorphoses, in which the proud and unfeeling Narcissus is punished by the gods for having spurned all his male suitors. In this story, Ameinias, a young man, loved Narcissus but was scorned. To tell Ameinias off, Narcissus gave him a sword as a present. Ameinias used the sword to kill himself on Narcissus' doorstep and prayed to Nemesis that Narcissus would one day know the pain of unrequited love. This curse was fulfilled when Narcissus became entranced by his reflection in the pool and tried to seduce the beautiful boy, not realizing it was himself he was looking at.”
- Wikipedia entry

Narcissus, gazing at his reflection in a mirror. Ameinias watches at a distance.

Narcissus speaks to his reflection.

NARCISSUS
I love you.

AMEINIAS
You should have loved me.

NARCISSUS
Don’t be shy. You can say it back to me. I can see the love there in your eyes.

AMEINIAS
This is your punishment for not loving what you should.

NARCISSUS
I see so much of myself in you. Seriously, I look at you, and there’s this shock of recognition. We are perfect for each other.

AMEINIAS
Until you die you will only love the thing you can never have.

NARCISSUS
You’re so coy. I can see you looking at me, gazing at me with those eyes that beg for something more, and yet you always stay so far away from me. Always at a distance.

AMEINIAS
There’s no real satisfaction in watching you fall for yourself.

NARCISSUS
Just one kiss…

AMEINIAS
But it’s better than nothing.

NARCISSUS
I wonder what my hand would feel like on your cheek.

AMEINIAS
It’s hard to love something that doesn’t seem to love you back.
Like throwing yourself against a wall
hoping the wall might give against your weight
but discovering that the wall knows itself better than you do.

People are such mysteries.
What goes on inside them.
We need windows, not mirrors.
We need open windows on all sides of ourselves
so there is never a doubt
and never a question
and no love will be given without the knowledge it will be returned.

To Ameinias, for the first time, but not leaving his reflection.

NARCISSUS
I never said I didn’t love you.

This startles Ameinias.

AMEINIAS
Are you speaking to me?

NARCISSUS
Of course.

AMEINIAS
How much have you heard?

NARCISSUS
Everything. And I never said I didn’t love you.

AMEINIAS
But you never gave me any indication you did.

NARCISSUS
Yes, I did.
Just not the indications you wanted.

I think you wanted the rush of love,
the love from myths,
but love isn’t ever really like that.

Not the kind that survives anyway.

AMEINIAS
Oh.

NARCISSUS
Doesn’t matter anymore. I found someone who understands my kind of love.
At least I think I have.
Feels like the other half of me, you know?
That kind of connection…

Narcissus goes back to his reflection. Ameinias looks on.

AMEINIAS
And I love you again.
But you still don’t love me.

Love is a punishment from the Gods.

NARCISSUS
I love the way your mouth moves when you speak when you speak when you speak…

Narcissus watches the way his mouth moves as he says “when you speak” as the lights fade away.