An official-looking Narrator appears.
OFFICIAL-LOOKING NARRATOR
Carrot. A Theatrical Metaphor in Three Acts. Act One. In Which the Carrot is Born.
The Guy and The Carrot appears. (The Carrot should be a fun carrot puppet attached to a handsome actor.)
THE CARROT
I am born!
THE GUY
Welcome to the world, Carrot.
THE CARROT
Thank you. I’m planning to barbecue shrimp. You want to come over?
THE GUY
Sure. Sounds fun.
THE CARROT
Well, come on over.
THE GUY
But you’re way cuter than the guys I generally go out with.
THE CARROT
So?
THE GUY
Well… I think a person should know when someone is out of their league.
THE CARROT
Shut up. Come on over. We’ll drink a few beers and we’ll hang out. It’ll be fun.
THE GUY
Okay.
OFFICIAL-LOOKING NARRATOR
Carrot. A Theatrical Metaphor in Three Acts. Act Two. In Which the Carrot Achieves Its Destiny as a Theatrical Metaphor.
THE GUY
I like you.
THE CARROT
I like you.
THE GUY
And when I say, “I like you,” I mean that in an “I-like-you-like-relationship-like-kind-of-way” way.
THE CARROT
Me, too.
THE GUY
Well, that’s good. At least we’re on the same page.
A silence.
THE GUY (cont.)
We are on the same page, right?
THE CARROT
Oh yes.
THE GUY
Whew. Good. For a second there, I wasn’t sure.
Another silence.
THE GUY (cont.)
Shouldn’t we, like, go out on a date or something?
THE CARROT
Oh yes. That would be great.
Yet another silence.
The actor playing The Carrot pulls the puppet off his hand and dangles it in front of the Guy.
THE GUY
This is what I get for being interested in a carrot.
The Guy follows the carrot around, that’s being dangled in front of his face.
OFFICIAL-LOOKING NARRATOR
Carrot. A Theatrical Metaphor in Three Acts. In Which the Fate of The Carrot is Revealed.
THE GUY
But I don’t know the fate of the Carrot.
THE CARROT
And I’m only a theatrical metaphor. Abstractions don’t generally contemplate their future.
THE GUY
This sucks. How does this end?
OFFICAL-LOOKING NARRATOR
I don’t know. I’m just a narrator. I narrate, not create.
THE GUY
But I don’t know how the carrot feels. Exactly. I mean, I sort of know. But not implicitly. And I don’t know when I’m hanging out with the carrot again. I might not talk to him for days. And there’s the other carrot, the northern carrot, the one who won’t be a metaphor himself much longer. And it’s all very confusing when these two things collide in a day, even if only peripherally, and I’m not the kind of guy to ignore a connection (even if it’s smaller than the connection to a different carrot) because I don’t like closing doors, even if makes a different carrot worry (which it shouldn’t). Jesus. How can you have a Theatrical Metaphor in Three Acts without knowing how the last act ends?
OFFICAL-LOOKING NARRATOR
That’s the trouble with writing a play a day, young man. Things like this aren’t solved in a day. Looks like you’ll be chasing a metaphor for a little while longer.
THE GUY
Shit.
The Guy relents, and continues to follow the carrot being dangled in front of him.
Today, this feels like a passing fascination.
Tomorrow…
… well, who knows about tomorrow.
OFFICIAL-LOOKING NARRATOR
Carrot. A Theatrical Metaphor In Three Acts. The End.
The lights go down on The Guy chasing a carrot.
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3 comments:
*chuckle* you certainly did have a long busy day, didn't you? So many things to think about...
Hey! Who is this other carrot?
...alright...I've read this one over and over (I know, kinda creepy stalker, eh?)...and NOW I get it...for some reason I had to figure out where in there I was...and I can see myself now...and I'm not worried...the heart wants what the heart wants...*chuckle* and I just need to fuckin' simmer down!
hmm, Okay! I think I finally get what a carrot is. I didn't get this during the audition, and realize that I should have been pulled out of the ground. I was thinking, Why Carrot? I was thinking: they're orange, they're vegetables, but I never pictured how they're gathered. They're pulled up out of the ground. That's a really, really original metaphor. Neat.
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