The Guy.
And then, suddenly, Christopher Columbus. With a flag. Which he plants in the earth.
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS
I have discovered the New World!
A silence.
THE GUY
Are you Christopher Columbus?
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS
Why, yes. I am. How did you know?
THE GUY
Good guess.
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS
And who are you?
THE GUY
The Guy.
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS
I see.
Another silence.
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS (cont.)
Why are you here?
THE GUY
I was about to ask you the same thing.
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS
I have discovered a New World!
THE GUY
Well… I don’t mean to be a nitpicker about it, but I’ve been here for the last sixty-six plays, so technically you haven’t discovered a New World. You’ve just stumbled upon one that’s already occupied.
Another unexpected event: Vasco Nunez de Balboa appears, with a flag of his own. He plants it in the earth, too.
VASCO NUNEZ DE BALBOA
I have discovered the Pacific Ocean!
THE GUY
You’ve got to be kidding me.
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS
This isn’t the Pacific Ocean. This is the New World.
VASCO NUNEZ DE BALBOA
I am Vasco Nunez de Balboa. I am an explorer of the wide expanse. And I have it under good authority that I have made my way to the Pacific Ocean.
THE GUY
This isn’t the New World or the Pacific Ocean. It’s my play, and neither one of you has discovered anything!
Unexpected things clearly come in threes. Neil Armstrong appears, on the moon, with the American flag famous in all the pictures. He plants it, and walks like he’s in space.
NEIL ARMSTRONG ON THE MOON
“That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”
THE GUY
Oh my God.
VASCO NUNEZ DE BALBOA
Who’s this guy?
NEIL ARMSTRONG ON THE MOON
I am Neil Armstrong. Astronaut and American icon for future generations. I am the first man to set foot on this – the face of the moon!
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS
This is the New World!
VASCO NUNEZ DE BALBOA
This is the Pacific Ocean!
THE GUY
This is my play!
You three haven’t found anything!
This isn’t the New World!
It isn’t the Pacific Ocean!
And it isn’t the face of the moon!
This is MY PLAY!
So if anyone is going to lay claim to this place it’s going to be ME!
The Guy goes off in a huff and returns almost immediately with a flag of his own. He sticks it in the earth next to the other three.
THE GUY (cont.)
THERE!
I have discovered the theatrical space in which my play exists!
A silence.
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS
I still say it’s the New World.
A beat, then the Guy attacks Christopher Columbus. Balboa and Armstrong pull the two apart.
NEIL ARMSTRONG
Whoa whoa whoa
VASCO NUNEZ DE BALBOA
He’s feisty, this one.
THE GUY
I don’t understand this. I don’t understand this at all.
Then something kind of magical happens. There’s maybe music, light, a shift of some kind to tell us that this next appearance is Capital I Important.
Adam, the first man, appears.
ADAM
Oh.
I wasn’t expecting anyone here.
Hello.
THE GUY
Who are you?
ADAM
Adam.
The first that was.
I feel slightly underdressed.
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS
Excuse the frills here.
VASCO NUNEZ DE BALBOA
Fashion of the times.
NEIL ARMSTRONG
I’d rather be wearing what you’re wearing. This suit is hot as hell.
THE GUY
Why are you all here?
ADAM
Because the Old World Is New Again.
I’m surprised you didn’t notice.
What better reason is there to be here?
Adam takes a look around the place. Something fires in his brain.
ADAM (cont.)
I have discovered Eden!
Adam sits on the ground. The other explorers look at him. They all understand, finally, where they are. They are at the place where things begin. Where the world is born, discovered, lost, and reborn. Again and again, until…
well… until.
The flags wave in a breeze that passes by them all.
The lights go down.
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3 comments:
Wow. I wasn't expecting that ending...
New beginnings...fresh starts...a new chapter to the amazing story you've been telling you're whole life...like seeing everything again, for the first time...in a new way...what an exciting time!
My brain is this dissonant town, full of roads of neurons, segregated white and gray matter, inhabited by my friends and the people of history, underwritten by authors and playwrights, undertoned by the music of the day, invaded by massive hordes of procrastination and apathy.
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