3.28.2007: Funny

Darkness.

A harsh spotlight hits The Guy, center stage. A voice rings out from the darkness.

VOICE FROM THE DARKNESS
Okay. Show us what you got.

THE GUY
Huh?

VOICE FROM THE DARKNESS
Show me funny.

THE GUY
Funny?

VOICE FROM THE DARKNESS
Yeah. Be funny.

The Guy doesn’t do anything for a few uncomfortable moments.

VOICE FROM THE DARKNESS (cont.)
That’s not funny.

THE GUY
I know.

VOICE FROM THE DARKNESS
I asked for funny.

THE GUY
Yes I know.

VOICE FROM THE DARKNESS
So be funny.

A horn is tooted from the darkness and Funny appears. He’s exactly what one might expect from a character named Funny. Go for it.

Funny runs into the light with The Guy

FUNNY
I can be funny!

Funny is as Funny does. It’s more embarrassing than funny, really. Funny finishes with a flourish.

VOICE FROM THE DARKNESS
You’re hired! You start next week.

FUNNY
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Funny vanishes. The lights restore a little. An actor appears.

THE GUY
What’s so good about Funny?

AN ACTOR
Funny doesn’t make people want to slit their wrists.

THE GUY
And I do?

AN ACTOR
Um… Sometimes.

THE GUY
Jeez.

AN ACTOR
Gotta give them what they want.

THE GUY
But who’s “them?”

The Guy and An Actor look out into the darkness that’s the audience.

AN ACTOR
They’re watching us.

THE GUY
I know.

AN ACTOR
We should do something funny.

THE GUY
Like what?

A moment of existential crisis.

The lights go down.