The Guy Back When and The Sad Song Friend sitting at a table, doing shots. Probably tequila, laughing. We have caught them in mid-drunken conversation. They’re complaining, but it’s funny to them. It’s all done in love.
THE GUY BACK WHEN
No, she’s a bitch.
THE SAD SONG FRIEND
She’s not a bitch.
THE GUY BACK WHEN
I don’t even see why he likes her. Why is Brian dating her?
THE SAD SONG FRIEND
She’s your roommate. You love her.
THE GUY BACK WHEN
I can love her and be her roommate and still think she’s a bitch.
THE SAD SONG FRIEND
You are such a faggot.
THE GUY BACK WHEN
Fuck you. Take the shot.
They take the shot. They’ve had enough for this shot to cause a lot of grimacing and noise. But they laugh anyway. They set up another one.
As they do, The Guy and Nate appear.
NATE
Aww. Look at you drunk off your ass.
THE GUY
Shut up.
NATE
It’s cute.
THE GUY
It’s obnoxious.
NATE
Is this because of the party?
THE GUY
Yeah, made me think of it.
The next shot is set up.
THE GUY BACK WHEN
How many of these have we done?
THE SAD SONG FRIEND
I have no fucking idea.
THE GUY BACK WHEN
One more won’t hurt, then.
THE SAD SONG FRIEND
And what else is there to do at this party? Brian’s outside making out with Tonya…
THE GUY BACK WHEN
That bitch…
THE SAD SONG FRIEND
He could do so much better than her…
THE GUY BACK WHEN
Yeah. He could have me.
THE SAD SONG FRIEND
Or me.
THE GUY BACK WHEN
Or both of us at the same time.
THE SAD SONG FRIEND
Oh my God!
THE GUY BACK WHEN
Totally fucking kidding.
THE SAD SONG FRIEND
That would be so fucking gross.
THE GUY BACK WHEN
Do the shot.
They do the shot. Grimacing and noise and laughing about it. Another is set up.
THE GUY
I had a lot of fun at your party.
NATE
Good. I was really glad you came.
THE GUY
Me, too. Getting to see you was great. And meeting your friends was also very fun.
But the whole night, the thing I kept thinking about was it was so ironic that I’d have this night at this point in my life. Because everything about your party reminded me of the last time in my life I felt as optimistic about the future as I do right now.
I’d missed that.
THE GUY BACK WHEN
I AM GONNA RULE THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD!
THE SAD SONG FRIEND
You are so drunk.
THE GUY BACK WHEN
Yes I am.
THE SAD SONG FRIEND
When we all make it on Broadway, we’re gonna have to do exactly this.
THE GUY BACK WHEN
Every fucking night.
THE SAD SONG FRIEND
When we’re thirty…
THE GUY BACK WHEN
BEFORE we turn thirty…
THE SAD SONG FRIEND
You writing the plays, me stage managing, and everyone out there acting in them.
THE GUY BACK WHEN
Absofuckinglutely.
THE SAD SONG FRIEND
I wanna hold onto this forever.
THE GUY BACK WHEN
Every fucking inch of it.
They hold up their shot glasses.
THE SAD SONG FRIEND
Except Tonya.
THE GUY BACK WHEN
She’s only invited if she stops dating Brian.
THE SAD SONG FRIEND
Salut!
They do the shot. The worst grimaces, the biggest laughter.
The Guy leans into Nate. Nate puts his hand on The Guy’s back. The Guy smiles.
The lights go out.
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