5.21.2007: Have My Pancakes (and Eat Them, Too)

The Guy and the Uncertain Future.

THE GUY
Uh oh.

UNCERTAIN FUTURE
What?

THE GUY
You’re here.

UNCERTAIN FUTURE
Yes. I am.

THE GUY
That’s never a good sign.

UNCERTAIN FUTURE
I resent that.

THE GUY
It’s not that I don’t appreciate you…

UNCERTAIN FUTURE
Of course.

THE GUY
…. it’s just the only time you ever show us is when something is hanging in the balance.

UNCERTAIN FUTURE
When you don’t know what the hell is going on.

THE GUY
Exactly. And that’s never comforting.

A pause.

THE GUY (cont.)
So why are you here?

Nate appears, eating some chocolate chip and peanut butter chip pancakes.

NATE
These pancakes are really good.

THE GUY
Why’s he here? I’m not uncertain about him. He shouldn’t be here.

UNCERTIAN FUTURE
Hold on. We’re not finished.

An Important Thinker on the Question of Theatre appears. And he has a letter in his hand.

IMPORTANT THINKER ON THE QUESTION OF THEATRE
A letter! From Juilliard!

THE GUY
Oh shit.

IMPORTANT THINKER ON THE QUESTION OF THEATRE
To be opened on June 15!

THE GUY
That’s weeks from now.

UNCERTAIN FUTURE
I know.

NATE
Seriously these pancakes are really good.

IMPORTANT THINKER ON THE QUESTION OF THEATRE
If we like you, we’re inviting you to join us!

NATE
You sure you don’t want some?

IMPORTANT THINKER ON THE QUESTION OF THEATRE
If we don’t, you’ll never have a chance at us again.

UNCERTAIN FUTURE
That’s it.

THE GUY
What?

UNCERTAIN FUTURE
That’s why I’m here. Because a fork is about to appear in the road. Not today. But soon. You get to stand at the intersection of two great things and hold them both in your hand at once. But one of them gets left behind while you chase the other one into the sunset.

THE GUY
You suck.

UNCERTAIN FUTURE
Sorry. That’s just how it goes.

THE GUY
I like them both.

UNCERTAIN FUTURE
I know.

THE GUY
Juilliard says yes…

UNCERTAIN FUTURE
You leave Nate here before you thought you’d have to.

THE GUY
And that will suck. Juilliard says no…

UNCERTAIN FUTURE
You stay, but your dream is crushed.

THE GUY
And that will suck.

UNCERTAIN FUTURE
But there’s a lot of good in either one.

THE GUY
Oh yeah. I know. Lots of good. In either place.

Pause. A moment of consideration. Then, to the Uncertain Future.

THE GUY (cont.)
You can go now.

UNCERTAIN FUTURE
Excuse me?

THE GUY
You can go.
I don’t really need you.
Because I’m tired of being held back by uncertainty.

Uncertainty got me here in the first place.
And I would rather believe in a world where I can have both things.
If I work at it hard enough
And do what needs to be done
And trust that inevitable ends aren’t always disappointments.

I can have my pancakes and eat them, too.

He goes to Nate.

THE GUY (cont.)
Can I have a bite?

NATE
Sure.

THE GUY
And you. Hold on to that letter. Let me know when it’s time.

Everything that’s wantable is achieveable.

The Important Thinker on the Question of Theatre holds on to the letter. The Guy and Nate eat pancakes. The Uncertain Future watches on.