2.14.2007: Freakshow! (Affectionately, Of Course)

The guy. And a new person. We’ll call him Freakshow.

Affectionately, of course.

THE GUY
Hey Freakshow.

FREAKSHOW
I’m in the plays now?

THE GUY
Yup.

FREAKSHOW
Nice. I like what you’ve done with the place.

THE GUY
Thank you.

FREAKSHOW
So, I can’t believe you’re actually gonna call me Freakshow. What are the people who read this going to think?

THE GUY
It’s meant affectionately, of course.

FREAKSHOW
I figured. But what are people who read this gonna think of me?

Suddenly something terribly random happens. Two actors dressed as huge dragonflies, armed with guns and with pantyhose masks covering their faces, run onstage, yelling.

HEAD DRAGONFLY BANK ROBBER
Okay! Hands up! Put your goddamned hands up and give me everything you’ve got in the safe! And I mean now!

The Guy and Freakshow are being held at gunpoint by dragonfly bank robbers. They put their hands in the air.

THE GUY
This is all your fault, you know. Let someone into these plays, and their influence spreads like wildfire.

FREAKSHOW
Sorry.

THE GUY
This is why I’m calling you Freakshow.

The secondary dragonfly bank robber gets nervous. He starts patting down Freakshow.

THE SECONDARY DRAGONFLY BANK ROBBER
The handsome one’s got something, Hoss! I think the handsome one’s got something!

FREAKSHOW
Suck up.

THE GUY
Sorry. You are. Handsome.

FREAKSHOW
(in a hushed tone)
Call the police. The dragonflies suspect that I have a weapon.

THE GUY
You make me smile, you know that?

FREAKSHOW
Yeah.

THE GUY
You aren’t scared that we’re being held at gunpoint by dragonfly bank robbers?

FREAKSHOW
Nah. They’re dragonflies. They’ll probably be dead in a matter of minutes.

As if on cue, the Dragonfly bank robbers drop dead. Since dragonflies don’t live very long at all.

THE GUY
My hero!

FREAKSHOW
You wanna grab dinner?

THE GUY
Sure. You freakshow.

Off they go, leaving the dragonflies on the ground.