4.16.2007: Audition (I Compare Them to You)

The Guy stands at a table, with a dozen headshots laid across it. Maybe a few dozen. He considers them carefully.

The Guy looks up and out, beyond the fourth wall, and speaks to someone we can’t see.

THE GUY
Look.
Thank you for your time.
But.

You’re just not what I’m looking for right now.

I mean, you’ve got all the credentials
you’ve been well trained
you look adorable
your audition was excellent
and I’m pretty sure that you haven’t made up half your resume

But.

You’re just not what I’m looking for right now.

You see, the trouble is
I have this very clear picture in my mind of who I want for this role
and when you walked in the room,
I had this flash, you know,
a second when I thought
“This might be the one.”

But

You’re just not what I’m looking for right now.

I’m not saying you wouldn’t be good.
You probably would be
You’d probably be great
And you know we could probably rehearse for a while
and things would seem like they’re going well
and that we’re really understanding each other’s creative process here

but there’s going to be that moment
when I turn to you and I’ll be very disappointed
that you are not the thing I had I my mind
that I settled on you
when I was very clear what I wanted.

And don’t you want to be spared that
Don’t you want to be spared the disappointment
and the awkwardness that comes later?

I know, I know,
I might not ever get what i want
coming through that door
and I might end up without a lead
and the show will fall apart
and I’ll be sitting back here at square one wishing I’d just cast you
and made the best of it

But I’m an idealist, you know,
I have these big dreams of things
And I have this vision of what would really make me happy.

So listen,
thanks for coming out today
I really appreciate it

But

You’re just not what I’m looking for right now.

We hear a door close.

A silence.

We hear a door open. We hear footsteps.

THE GUY
Hi.

Headshot and resume?

Thanks.