4.27.2007: The Only Impossible Trick

The Illusionist again, this time with his lovely female assistant.

In the center of the stage is the box from the last play.

THE ILLUSIONIST
Just try it.

LOVELY FEMALE ASSISTANT
I don’t want to.

THE ILLUSIONIST
You don’t mind doing anything else.

LOVELY FEMALE ASSISTANT
That’s different. Those are magic tricks. Always completely reversible.

THE ILLUSIONIST
So is this.

LOVELY FEMALE ASSISTANT
I don’t think so.

THE ILLUSIONIST
But it would be such a beautiful way to end our act. A Big Finish!

LOVELY FEMALE ASSISTANT
No.

THE ILLUSIONIST
I don’t get you, Eileen. I mean, you have this… talent. You can slide your middle section out two feet beside you. You can make yourself appear and disappear at will. You can allow seven swords to cut through your body and not feel a thing. You can get sawed in half!

And on the verge of doing something truly remarkable, something that I can guarantee will bring down the house tonight (seriously. We’re talking media coverage, interviews… We could even develop a core fan base that will follow us around from mall show to mall show.) You won’t take the plunge.

You’re the only person on the planet who can do this, Eileen.

LOVELY FEMALE ASSISTANT
I can’t love you.

There’s a long moment. The Illusionist looks very sad.

He moves to the box. He steps inside it.

THE ILLUSIONIST
Then rip me into pieces.

LOVELY FEMALE ASSISTANT
You won’t be able to get put back together. You don’t have my abilities to repair.

THE ILLUSIONIST
Maybe I don’t want to be put back together. Maybe I want to be broken into three pieces. Maybe I want to be completely out of order.

LOVELY FEMALE ASSISTANT
Fine but don’t come crying to me when this doesn’t work out like you planned it.

The lovely female assistant proceeds with the magic act. She slides the middle section out beside the Illusionist. His face betrays a searing pain, but he doesn’t make a sound.

The lovely female assistant looks at the empty space where his torso used to be.

LOVELY FEMALE ASSISTANT (cont.)
I’ve got nothing to give to fill this space. My well is dry.

THE ILLUSIONIST
It’s all illusion, right? That’s the trick, isn’t it? It’s a trick masquerading as truth masquerading as a trick. Illusion…

Neither is really sure. And they both are stock still as the lights go down.