The Guy appears, in one of those magic trick boxes that allows the Illusionist to slide the middle part of a person out from between their upper and lower parts.
At the present moment, though, The Guy is in one piece.
The Illusionist appears.
THE ILLUSIONIST
Hello.
THE GUY
Hi.
THE ILLUSIONIST
You’re not my lovely female assistant.
THE GUY
No.
THE ILLUSIONIST
That’s unfortunate.
THE GUY
For everyone, it seems.
THE ILLUSIONIST
I’m not used to doing these illusions without my lovely female assistant.
THE GUY
Well, it would seem the trick would work with whomever you put in this box. You know, it’s all illusion anyway. So the illusion should work even though I’m neither lovely or female.
THE ILLUSIONIST
You’d think that, wouldn’t you? But they’re not tricks.
THE GUY
What?
THE ILLUSIONIST
That’s the trick. They’re not tricks. The reason I only do this particular illusion with my lovely female assistant is because my lovely female assistant can actually detach the middle part of her body and slide it to the side in this box. Everybody thinks it’s an illusion. Because who else can do that, right? It defies logic. So of course, it must be somehow… deceptive.
but no. She really does it. Night after night. And I can stick swords in her and she never bleeds or does. I can saw her in half (she particularly likes that illusion, she says it feels like a feather being pulled across your stomach when I rip her two halves apart).
None of it is illusion.
THE GUY
I don’t believe you.
THE ILLUSIONIST
People never do.
THE GUY
I bet if you pushed that middle section right now, it would slide out and I would look like man cut in three pieces.
THE ILLUSIONIST
Wanna try?
THE GUY
Absolutely.
The Illusionist steps up to the box. Lights shift. Tense magic music. Hands fullters and magical making gestures from the Illusionist. Then he puts his hands on the middle section…
…and pushes.
THE GUY
OUCH! Jesus Christ, you’re killing me, stop pushing!
He does. Everything returns to non-magical atmosphere.
THE ILLUSIONIST
Told you so.
My favorite part of being an illusionist that that people never know what the true illusion is.
It’s not that we’re able to make fiction look like fact.
It’s that we’re able to make you believe fact is somehow fiction.
The Illusionist makes another magical gesture. Nothing happens.
He laughs. And exits.
The lights go down.
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