The Guy stands in a forest, lit only by the full moon that lingers overhead.
With him are two others – The Brother and The Brother’s Boyfriend. Both wear hoodies from American Eagle. They’re cute.
THE BROTHER
You see him yet?
THE GUY
Nope.
THE BROTHER’S BOYFRIEND
What does he look like again?
THE BROTHER
Like a porn star from the 70s.
THE BROTHER’S BOYFRIEND
Oh yeah. That’s right. He’s a bear.
The Brother and the Brother’s Boyfriend laugh and start “woof”ing at each other. They’re sort of funny.
But it’s isn’t really funny when a Giant Bear appears – seventy feet tall, broad shouldered, little bit of a belly, fair bit of hair on him, and ferocious.
The Brother and the Brother’s Boyfriend scream in terror. The Giant Bear eats them like Giant Bears tend to do when screamed at.
The Guy looks up at the Giant Bear.
THE GUY
You ready for dinner?
THE GIANT BEAR
Sure.
The Giant Bear unzips the front of him to reveal, underneath the Giant Bear façade, a regular sized guy – six feet tall, broad shouldered, little bit of a belly, fair bit of hair on him, and a nice full beard. The Guy finds this pretty attractive in a fella.
They go to dinner.
Now of course, the Brother and the Brother’s Boyfriend didn’t really get eaten, they’re probably off someplace being terrific people, but it’s a gentle reminder to them that it’s always smart to be careful who you “woof” at.
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3 comments:
one word....Keith. eggghhh!
Hmm.
my bestest gal pal Sondra keeps telling me that "woof"ing at someone means they're gross ugmo's...she says I should "grrrr" at them...but I don't like grring...it just sounds mean...
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