…with respect to The Fella for his contribution.
THE GUY
Happy Resurrection day
THE FELLA
Thanks. Yay Attis has risen again
THE GUY
Huh?
THE FELLA
Attis. A Greek god who the character Jesus was influenced by most likely. HHHe's a resurrection diety. He dies and comes back each year.
THE GUY
He sounds like a fun guy
THE FELLA
Not really. What happened was Cybele, the goddess, was all
"I LOVE YE, HUMAN ATTIS"
"If you love me back, I'll give you eternal youth"
and he's like "fuck yea"
until one day
he wanders into a forest and sees a hot nymph
and he's all "boing"
and "loses his youth" to her
Cybele gets pissed, charges up his credit cards, and then makes him go mad
in his madness, he cuts off his balls
his blood makes some flowers grow
and he dies
then she's all "shit, I'm such a woman. I overreacted"
and she brings him back to life
more or less.
THE GUY
The Greeks knew how to make a myth.
THE FELLA
Yea.
THE GUY
Blood, sex, high drama.
THE FELLA
And hot nymphs.
The lights go down.
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